Our First Ultrasound

by Kami Solberg

Date: Tue, 27 Jul 1999

My husband and I are both 21. We have been married almost two years. We have been trying to get pregnant for two years. I have had problems with cysts and other female problems since 15. I was diagnosed with endometriosis when I was 17. So we decided to try right away. Having irregular periods made it difficult. After fertility pills on and off for two years and trying to calculate ovulation, we gave up. On June 11, 1999 I bought a pregnancy test because I was starting a diet and a voice in my head kept telling me to. If by chance I was pregnant the diet could harm the baby so I took the test to make myself feel better. I didn't tell my husband because I figured there was no reason to. Well to my surprise the test was positive. I was in shock. I told my husband and one more home test and a test at Planned Parenthood I knew it was true. I've been waiting so long for this.

My first doctor's appointment went good. I was 6-7 weeks along. We conceived May 9, 1999 (Mothers day). We decided to do an ultrasound at 10 weeks because my doctor wanted me to know this was real. I was really sick with morning sickness all day everyday. But I couldn't be happier. We bought baby clothes and other items, big and small. The day came for the ultrasound. After doing a topical ultrasound they did an internal because they could not see very well the other way. My husband saw our baby for the first time and the last. Doctor said the baby stopped growing about a week before.

Lost it completely. All my husband could do was sit there. We held each other for a long time in the room. My doctor gave me the option of letting the miscarriage happen in it's own time or having a D&C. I immediately chose the D&C so the next day my baby was taken from my womb. I'm not going to say I'm okay because I'm not. It has only been a couple of weeks. But I know there is a reason why my baby did not grow and I know that even though I want my baby back inside me I now know what I did not know a couple months before. I am able to have kids and I will one day when we have both come to terms with our loss.