Our April Baby Gone in November

by Tonya Ridley
I would like to share my sorrow of losing our child in November 1996. It is nice to know that there are others out there who have gone through the same pain.

Our baby was due to be born on April 24, 1997. The pregnancy was going well. I have had two other healthy children before this pregnancy. I had had a previous miscarriage in April of 1996. I had no idea I was even pregnant until I had gone to the ER to find out I was miscarrying. I had not started a normal menstrual cycle after the miscarriage in April. We had changed HMO's and so I booked an appointment with a new OB/GYN. This was August of 1996. I had a routine pelvic exam, plus a urine pregnancy test (which turned out negative). I was told that if I didn't start a period soon, that she would put me on provera. Well, I never started, but also kept putting off calling for the prescription. Finally, I started feeling like I had when I was pregnant with my 2 girls. So, I took a home test. POSITIVE. To say the least, we were excited!! I booked an appointment, and was seen Sept. 24, 1997. Expecting me to only be about 4 to 5 weeks along, my doctor wanted to due an ultrasound. Upon doing the ultrasound, we discovered that I was about 10 weeks along!! So I had breezed through my first trimester. I was feeling great. Taking my vitamins, starting to prepare for the birth of our third child. I went in for my 18 week checkup, expecting everything to be just fine. We had heard the heartbeat at 14 weeks with the doppler. I was to be receiving another ultrasound and possibly find out if it was a boy or a girl. As the doctor was sliding the doppler around, a few times we thought we would hear the heart than it would turn out to only be mine. She was growing concerned and took me into the ultrasound room. And, then said she didn't like what she was seeing and wanted an ultrasound tech to run some more tests. She sent me over to the hospital. I must of had 45 minutes worth of ultrasounds! The doctor than called my husband (whom at this point left work to join me) & I into her office to tell us that the baby's heart had stopped beating. This was like someone dropping a brick wall on your heart. I ached, I felt nauseated, I wanted to scream! And, then informed me of my options to let my body miscarry on it's own, or a D&C. The baby was measuring at 14 -15 weeks along. So if I miscarried I would run the risk of hemorrhaging. All, I can remember is riding home (40 minutes) looking out the window just sobbing. Why God? Why this child? The doctor has to be wrong! This isn't happening to us!! My two girls couldn't understand why mommy & daddy were crying. My husband sweetly took over answering all questions friends and family asked. After much thought, and prayer I decided to have a D & C. As the 24th draws closer I find myself thinking about our child who is now in Heaven waiting for me. I was never told why it happened. Just, "sometimes these things happen". My mother does have Lupus, and I will be tested for it, before another pregnancy. The one thing I learned was we are not in control, but God is. And, although I am a Bible believing, God fearing woman. I took for granted the great miracle of giving birth to a healthy child. Anyone who would like to communicate with me, may do so at doorkeeper@cheerful.com