You would be 7 months!

by Kim Rhoden

In Memory of Kayla Yvonne Rhoden
January 12, 1999
41 weeks (we almost made it!)

Date: Sat, 7 Aug 1999

You would have been 7 months old soon and not a day goes by when I don't think of you. You are my one and only and surely the light of my life. I had such plans as to how we would spend our first summer together; mommy and me swim classes and lots of walks in the park. At night I lie in bed wishing that you were next to me. I awake in the mornings wishing I could hear your cry. I often find myself daydreaming about feeding you in your high chair or watching you rock in your swing. I imagine loading you into the car to take a drive or run an errand. Sometimes, I just remember the way you felt inside of me. I can even recall the smell of your skin when I held you ever so briefly in the hospital. You filled my heart with so much love and pride and I've never been so proud of anything in my whole entire life! You will always be my daughter and I will always be your mother. I see lots of babies everyday and I'll bet their mommy's wonder why I stop and stare. I'm thinking of you Kayla and wishing so much that you were here. Stay strong my beautiful angel and know that I love you always and forever.

God's Loan

I'll lend you for a little time...
A child of mine He said.
For you to love while she's here and mourn her when she's dead.
It may be six or seven years
Or twenty-two or three.
But will you till I call her back,
Take care of her for me?
She'll bring her charms to gladden you, And should her stay be brief...
You'll have her lovely memories as
Solace for your grief.
I cannot promise she will stay...
Since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there, I want this child to learn.
I've looked the whole world over.
In search of teacher's true.
And from the throngs that crowd life's lines...
I have selected you.
Now will you give her all you r love,
Not think the labor vain?
Nor hate me when I come to call
To take her back again?
I fancied when I heard them say
"Dear Lord thy will be done"
For all this joy thy child shall bring...
The risk of grief will run.
We'll shelter her with tenderness.
We'll love her while we may.
But should the angels call for her
Much sooner than we planned?
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes...

And try to understand.