The day my Baby died

By Carrie Olson
Mother to Madalynn JoAnn Walkington 12-23-97 to 3-12-98

Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1999

March 12,1997 started out like every other day. I got up to get ready for work and woke up Madalynn to change her and get her ready to go to the sitters. Actually, that day was different. Maddy was supposed to be staying at home with my mom, but because we had had 2 days off because of a snowstorm, my mom decided to go to work. We also decided to work until 4 o'clock instead of 5. I dropped Madalynn off at Diane's and mom and I headed for the office. I remember that day before we left work that we were talking with our friends there about Maddy and her father. One girl commented on how her daddy really didn't know her and what a shame that was since she was such a little angel.

Little did we know that even as we spoke the paramedics were already working on my beautiful baby girl. Right after I left work, the sitter's daughter had called to see if I was headed to pick Maddy up. As we pulled up to the house, I was arguing with my mom as to whether or not she should pull all the way into the driveway. We knew something was strange because none of the other moms were in the driveway.

Finally I relented and got out of the car and noticed how strangely one of the moms was looking at me. She knew. I remember Paul, Diane's husband running out of the house to stop me.. His exact words..."you have to go to the hospital, Maddy quit breathing." I thought he had lost it. Why would she stop breathing? She was perfectly healthy, sure she had had a little sniffle that day, but that would not make her stop breathing!! Then I heard Diane screaming... I knew it wasn't good. We took off for the hospital. A three minute drive that seemed to take hours. I remember plowing past some kid going into the ER and wondering why I couldn't go any faster. After all, Madalynn needed me; she was alone and probably scared. The nurse ushered mom and I into a little room and kept saying; "they're breathing for her." What was that supposed to mean? Then they brought us a telephone and said we should call our family. Yeah right!! I still don't know how we managed that. They told me that Areo-Med had been dispatched and would be there shortly to take her to a bigger better hospital... When I heard that helicopter, I knew everything would be ok. Then Dr. Seward came in and told us they couldn't help her. She had died.

I don't really remember anything from there. I just thought I would wake up and Madalynn would be in her crib. I don't remember specific people being at the house and funeral home; I just remember faces and numbness. It's been almost 10 months since Madalynn died and even as I write this I can't stop the tears. The worst possible thing that can happen in my life has, my baby is gone. I pray that someday researchers can find out why this happens and stop it from happening again. God Bless all of you that this has happened to.

Carrie Olson ( Mother to Madalynn JoAnn Walkington 12-23-97 to 3-12-98)