My Daughter, Jennifer

by Marla

Date: Thu, 16 Mar 2000

Hi my name is Marla,

My daughter Jennifer died Dec. 22,1987 of SIDS. She was 3 months old. It has taken me a long time to at least sleep, without dreaming about that horrible morning. I never did go to groups that had people there that understood what I was going through, I just got through it by myself.

Now if I could do things differently I would have gone. The only real problem I had was that I couldn't understand how this could happen, I mean not just to me, but for whomever has to go through such an ordeal. I was 18yrs. old when I lost my daughter. I now know that God took her because she was very, very special. About 4mths. Ago I had a dream about her. I was in a room and everything around me was pitch black, except where I was sitting. There was a couch, and a bunch of toys all around, then here came Jennifer (it was like she was coming out of the dark). At this time she would have been 12yrs. old. She was dressed in the pretty pink with white lace dress that I had buried her in, except the dress fit her. It was like the dress had grown with her. Well through the majority of my dream she was playing with her toys. Then all of a sudden she looks up at me, and says I'm ready to go home now mommy. So you can imagine what I'm thinking (how am I suppose to tell her she can't go home with me). So I told her Jennifer, you can't come home with me, heaven is your home now. Then the last thing she did, and said was she kind of shrugged her shoulders and said MMM ok mommy, well I love you and I will see you later. She hugged me and kissed me and I have not had another bad dream since. I guess to me that was a type of closure. I also realized it's a lot better if you can talk about it. No matter how many times you have told what happened you still need to keep talking about it, because in the long run it well help you heal.

Thanks for listening to my story. If there is anyone that needs to talk about it, they can contact me at: 
karaokekraze@netzero.net