My own loss on 6/28/01

Trisha Knerr

Date: Tue, 9 Oct 2001

The day I found out I was going to be a Mommy I
couldn't believe it. I was shocked, we had been trying
for only a month and the day before I missed my period
I knew that I was pregnant. Confirmed be the doctor, i
was 6 weeks and 3 days that on May 16th 2001. My next
check up was on June 22nd(12 weeks pregnant) for an
ultrasound to see/hear the baby's heartbeat. My
stomach was growing and I was showing, had morning
sickness through out the day. The morning of the
ultrasound both Steve and myself didn't feel like
something was right, nervous and excited we drove to
the doctor's office to see our precious baby. On the
examining table and they are trying to find my baby's
heartbeat, well with having a tilted uterus they
thought that the baby had attached to the back side of
the uterus so that's why we couldn't hear the
heartbeat. So, about 6 doctors later they are still
telling me that everything was ok and that they were
going to send me to the ultrasound lab upstairs.
Laying on that table waiting to see my baby was the
longest time of my life. As the nurse squirted the
jelly onto my belly, I saw my baby on the screen. I
got excited but something didn't feel right. "Why
wasn't my baby moving?" The nurse just measured my
baby and then asked me how far along I was. I knew
something was really wrong now. That is when, I was
told that my baby had stopped developing within the
last couple days. I was devastated, how could this
happen?? I was at the 12 week mark, I thought I was
clear. We went in for counseling right after and I was
told that my body didn't reject the baby after it had
pasted but I could schedule a D & C for the next week,
so that maybe my body would get ride of it naturally.
The day before my D & C I went in for a pre-op. and I
was told that my body was on it's way "Naturally"
taking care of everything. So the Dr. gave me some
little pink pills that should help move things
along...and some antibiotics. Later that afternoon, I
was rushed to the E.R. because I started to bleed
heavily and non-stop. I was throwing up and
sweating, and dizzy. Six hours later, I delivered my
little angel (little pink pill started it) Lost almost
3 pints of blood along with my hope. Now being 3
months later and 3 normal cycles, Steve and I have
been given the O.K. to start trying again. I
understand all the pain you woman are or have gone
through. It is a rough time, and you feel like you
have failed, but you haven't. God gives you what you
can handle and sometimes it is good that he steps in,
I later found out that my baby had Chromosomal Defects
that the egg and sperm didn't line up when they were
developing. Which, I don't know what I would do, if I
had carried full term and then lost my baby like so
many of you beautiful woman have. You all will have
another angel soon, God will bless you with that
little gift, when time is good for you. Not when you
think it is time. I wish all of you the best of luck
and I pray every night that the emptiness will be
filled some day soon, for myself and for all of you.

God Bless All Of You!!!
Love and prayers,
Trisha K.