Another Child Lost

by Lindy Hart
Lindy.Hart@tag.csiro.au 

Date: Mon, 19 Feb 2001

Hi

I'm not sure of the protocol for adding an article to your web page, I hope
this is OK. I wanted to add my article to your archive as I don't think
the experiences have been recorded previously.

I am currently not with a partner and I have no children. I first became
pregnant in 1998, with a partner I thought was my soul mate. I miscarried
at 10 weeks and I thought that was the end of that. At 16 weeks I still
felt as though I were pregnant and I went back to my doctor. Sure enough
the ultrasound and amniocentesis proved that I was still pregnant with a
girl. The doctors explained that I had probably been carrying paternal
twins and that only one aborted. I was shocked and elated but my partner
was not at all happy, he wanted me to adopt the baby out and he was trying
to get as far away from me as possible. Needless to say he and I have
parted ways. I carried this child to just over 7 months when I came down
with a really bad flu. Later on the baby had stopped moving, I went to the
hospital but I was induced and I delivered a dead baby some 4-5 hours
later. I named her Siobhan and I will never forget holding her.

In the year 2000 I became pregnant again and I was really looking forward
to having a child. My partner was happy and we were progressing well. At
12 weeks I started bleeding and I was told I was having a miscarriage. I
did not want this to happen and when I told my partner, he "disappeared".
Another child lost.

Earlier this year I found out I was pregnant again. I was more
apprehensive this time. Would it all fall apart and was I really ready for
motherhood? At 11 weeks my answer came when I miscarried again. I didn't
see a doctor and I have not been to a hospital. I don't think I'm ready
for the possible bad news as to why I keep miscarrying and I'm trying to
get my career going (so that I can eat). I don't know whether other women
have been through the hell I have. If they have then I would dearly love
to hear from them as, at present, I feel like the only one who has had such
bad luck (not just with babies but with men!) Thanks.

Lindy