Alauna Has a New Baby Brother

by Pam Gay

Date: Sun, 24 Oct 1999

On October 12th Alauna's new baby brother was born. This is the second baby we have had since losing Alauna to SIDS. We are now a family with 4 daughters and 1 son. Unfortunately, we only get the opportunity to raise 3 of our daughters due to losing Alauna to SIDS. It is still so hard knowing that Alauna should be here with us. It is like there is a hole in our family and there always will be. It is so scary having a baby knowing there is stealer of babies out there called SIDS. I am not as scared as I was with the daughter we had after losing Alauna but the fear will always be there. We monitored our last daughter and are monitoring our new son Matthew also. I don't know if it will help if SIDS were to strike but I have to do it for my own peace of mind or I would never get an ounce of sleep. The horror of finding my beautiful baby daughter lying next to me in bed not breathing will never leave my mind. I could not live through that horror again. I have decided that Matthew is our last baby. I wanted to have one more but I just don't think I could go through this worry again. I thank God daily for the children he has blessed me with and take comfort that if I cant raise Alauna I know she is happy in the arms of Jesus and that I WILL see here again someday. We will never forget you Alauna Jean my little jellybean. You are and always will be part of our family. I love and miss you so much baby.
XOXOXO
Love Mommy

email pamandted@aol.com