Happy 2nd Birthday Alauna Jean Gay

by Alauna's Mother, Pam

Date: Thu, 3 Jun 1999

May 28th was Alauna's 2nd birthday. It is hard to imagine her as two years old when in my mind I see her as a happy healthy baby who we lost to SIDS when she was only 7 weeks old. Five days before her 2nd birthday her baby sister Ciarra turned 1 YEAR old. What a glorious day. Even though she is a year now I do still worry but I know I have to have faith she will be OK. I took flowers and a birthday balloon up to the cemetery on the 29th. I just could not bear to go there on her birthday. I know she understands but it is just so hard. On Memorial Day Makayla our almost 6 yr old and Talia our 4 year old went with my husband and they took flowers.

It was so hard to have to tell her happy birthday at a cemetery. My heart felt so sad. I also told her that in October she would have a new baby brother. We just had the ultrasound and this one is a boy. I am so excited but the fears are and always will be there. It is so hard when people see our 3 "living" girls and comment on us having 3 girls and I just want to scream NO I have 4 girls. I just cannot leave Alauna out. She is and always will be part of our family. When this baby is born we will look like a family that has 4 children but we have 5. One of them is just being raised in our Heavenly Father's arms. I know she is happy but my heart has and will always have a hole in it for my darling little baby angel Alauna.

Happy Birthday Alauna.
Mommy, Daddy, Makayla, Talia, Ciarra, and your baby brother due in October
Love you so Much.

Email address is pamandted@aol.com  if anyone would like to write.