My Sweet Baby Girl

by Teresa Dvorak

Date: Fri, 03 Sep 1999

I am so glad I found this site. I have been living in a nightmare for the past six weeks alone, angry, and scared. This all started on July 17th 1999 when I stopped feeling my baby move. I was only 23 weeks pregnant but she had been moving for two weeks or so before and I could feel every poke jab and kick she made. It was my son's fifth birthday party and my best friend of 28 years was there, I told her later in the evening that my baby had not moved at all today she assured me there was nothing to worry about as she was pregnant also due a week after me in November 99 and she said her baby does not always move around either. I felt better but by morning, I still had not felt anything, I did not want to believe that anything was wrong so I went about my day not worrying too much. When Monday morning came and still nothing I called the doctor they said to come in right away, on the way there I knew in my heart what was about to be found out, I knew my baby was dead. The ultrasound showed no heartbeat and the fluid was almost gone in the sac. I'll never forget his words "I have some bad news, I am so sorry but there is no heartbeat your baby has died." I screamed and called my husband at work.

He came and we went right to the hospital to induce labor. I checked in at 10:00 am Monday and Kalan Marie was born at 2:36 am Tuesday. I could not look at her or hold her and at first I did not even want to know if she was a girl or boy, but later decided I wanted to know when I found out it was the girl I prayed for I lost it. The mental and physical pain of the experience was awful and no one understands me. My husband has been great but the rest of my family is just sweeping it under the rug and I have no one but myself to get through this. I hope my story have helped someone feel better and not so alone and empty.