Letter to Michelle Elizabeth Dickerson

by Denise Michelle Dickerson

My Dearest Michelle,

It has been 17 months since your joyous birth. How much we had wanted you, our first child! However, it has also been just 14 and a half months since your tragic death. I will never forget that Tuesday afternoon.

So much has happened since your leaving us. Do you know we live in a new house? Your picture is still by my bed. I miss your old room, but you would have been happy here, too.

Do you know you now have a little brother, Patrick? But of course you do -- you are his special guardian angel. Thank you for keeping him safe. I tell Patrick about his special sister often. He is four months old now and doing things you never got a chance to do.

I wonder so much what you would look like now. I'm sure you would be walking and talking. Would your eyes have stayed light like Patrick's or gotten dark like mine and your Dad's? Patrick has your expressive eyes. They bring me such joy when he smiles, just as yours did. Would your hair be light, or dark like mine? Would you be tall like your Dad? I think you would have been; you were growing so fast!

I want you to know that I hurt less now. I realize that you are close by, watching over us and caring for us. When I think of you now it is mostly with the joy and laughter of happy memories rather than the pain and sorrow of that fateful day in June.

How I miss you, my first-born -- my little girl! You will always have that first place in my heart; that little hole is yours. I wait for the day when I will see and hold you again. Until then, remember that I love you very, very much.

Love,
Mom

Postscript: It has now been six years since our sweet Michelle was with us. We have moved once again and she would have liked it here, too! Michelle now has a little sister to be a guardian angel to -- Sarah Michelle. Both Patrick and Sarah speak often of their angel sister; and Patrick has mentioned that he and Michelle "talk." It comforts us to know that she is with us, watching over us and caring for us. Though we miss her dearly, her blessings during her short life with us were many.

All my love always, my little baby girl!
Mommy

28 Jun 1998

The above is a submittal to be hopefully included on the First Person page. It was originally published in The SIDS Survival Guide, first and second editions. I'm not sure how that works -- since I'm the actual "author" but they're the publisher. Anyway, here is the information (which you probably have but ...)

The SIDS Survival Guide
published by SIDS Educational Services Inc.
PO Box 6618
Hyattsville, MD 20789

or

Joani Horchler
2905 64th Avenue
Cheverly, MD 20785

Denise Michelle Dickerson