A Sign From An Angel

by Debbie Sanchez
for baby Cole Joseph Sanchez
October 2, 1995-January 31, 1996

reprinted with permission

This morning I stood at my kitchen sink washing dishes, and as I looked in the backyard at grass that is too long, and some flowers in bloom, I realized that Spring is coming and I can't stop it. If only we could stop time, most of us would probably go back to the day before losing those precious souls, and stay there forever. Tears came to my eyes as I realized Cole will never know what Spring on earth is like, but the things he has experienced in heaven are probably ten times greater. I bet the flowers are always in bloom, and the cloudy days are not so gloomy.

As I stood with tears streaming down my cheeks, crying for arms that are now empty, my eyes fell to a little porcelain box on the windowsill. The white box with an angel perched on top was given to me by a friend who thought of everything. She gave it to me knowing that I had a lock of Cole's hair and the box was meant to hold it. Like many other days, today I took it out the small bag of hair and held it. Looking at the reddish tint, I wondered if his hair is as red in heaven.

And then like many other days, I saw the angel laying in the bottom of the box and I smiled. A two dollar angel that fallen from someone's clothing, was flattened by a tire, and had laid in a parking lot through countless rainstorms, now means the world to us.

On January 31, 1996 when we finished saying good-bye to Cole, my husband left the emergency room and went out to his truck to make some phone calls. When he finished and looked down at his feet, there laid this angel; tarnished and almost as dark as the asphalt, a little portion of it glimmered and caught his eye. He could have parked anywhere in that parking lot, or never have looked down, but we knew immediately that it was Cole's way of letting us know that he was ok and we didn't need to worry about him.

We miss Cole terribly and somedays are harder than others, but we know that we have our very own guardian angel watching over us. The angel pin that I wear everyday helps me to remember that, and when I'm feeling blue or lonely, touching it brings back memories of my sweet baby angel. This little saying came attached to an angel pin that someone gave to me,

"There's a very special angel
who has nothing else to do,
But spend each moment day and night
just watching over you."

I always thought that I would be the one to watch over Cole not visa-versa, but in his care I feel safe and loved.