To Garrett ... Happy 2nd Birthday in Heaven

by Kelly Callaway

August 4, 1999

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GARRETT KEITH CALLAWAY

My Dearest Garrett,

As I sit here, I think of you and wonder what you would have been like. Two years ago today at 3:56pm, you came into this world. It wasn't the easiest delivery, but there you were. Our son, our precious son. It seems like yesterday that here you were smiling at us. I can remember the first time you smiled at me and I knew you knew I was your Mommy. Wow, 2 years old. I can't believe I would have had a toddler running around me. I wonder what you would have wanted for your birthday party, you know we would have given you the moon, if you asked for it. Your Dad and I have talked a lot about you lately. This year seems harder than last. They say time heals the pain, but I think it just makes it worse. We both miss you so very much. We miss the simple things you gave to us. We are tempted to watch your video, but not sure how we can handle the flood of memories of actually seeing your face in motion and knowing we can't hold you. The memories of your short life seem so vivid. I can almost hear you laughing. Oh, son how I miss you.

We have come a long way in the year and a half you have been gone, but not a moment goes by that we don't feel cheated by not having you with us. Every time something special happens, we think about you and wish you were there to share in our joy. Your baby sister is seven and half months old. You chose a wonderful present for us. She sure brings hope back into our lives. For that son, I thank you. I know too, that you watch over us because I can feel your strength. Silly as it sounds, I know you are with me and when I see my cardinal, I smile! That bird comes to me at the darkest times. You don't know how many times I have just smiled seeing the cardinal fly in front of my car. Thank you for giving me this simple gift.

I don't know why you had to leave us, but I thank God for the time I had with you and the chance to be your Mommy. For that, I would not have traded anything for you. I would rather have my five months and twelve days of wonderful then a lifetime of nothing.

So today my son, have a wonderful birthday with the angels above. Keep watching over us and protecting us. Always remember that Mommy and Daddy love you so very much and miss you more each day. Don't ever worry about people forgetting about you, Mommy will never let that happen. It is for you that I live each day, to make you proud of me. One day when we meet again, tell about your birthday parties in heaven with your angel friends. Until then my son, know I love you with all my heart and carry you in my heart forever....

Love Always,
Mommy

What might have been