Our Little Angel, Kaitlyn Nicole

by Krista Burell

Our story starts on June 16, 1995, the day my husband, Gene and I found out that I was pregnant. We were so scared but so excited as well. We hadn't planned on a baby just yet, but we were thrilled at the thought of one. Everything was going fine. I had the usual mild morning sickness but nothing major.

Then on July 1 I started bleeding. The emergency room doctor said not to worry, it was only slight. He said that it was just a threatened miscarriage and to just take it easy. So I did. We got a little picture of our 7 week old baby from the ultrasound and went home.

A couple more months went by and everything seemed fine. At about 18 weeks I was having a great deal of abdominal pain, so I went back to the emergency room. They did an ultrasound, but it didn't show anything conclusive. They gave me the story that the baby was sitting on my ovaries and once again sent me home with a picture of my little baby.

September 22, 1995 we went for an ultrasound to check the due date of the very active little baby inside of me. Everything was fine. They moved the due date up from February 17 to February 7. We found out we were carrying a little girl. We decided to name her Kaitlyn Nicole Burell.

We were so excited!! My husband couldn't wait to be a daddy. We went and bought her little dresses and some socks that said "Daddy's Girl". Our parents were thrilled, too. They couldn't wait to be Grandparents.

But on September 28, only 8 days later our nightmare began. I woke up that Thursday morning in extreme pain. My stomach was hard as a rock. I was only 21 weeks pregnant, what was happening?

I called the nurse, she said to come in right away. I hung up the phone and looked down and saw blood. I began to scream. My husband rushed me to the doctor's office. I remember crying the whole way. I kept saying over and over "I don't want to lose the baby, please Katie stay with me."

We got to the doctor's office and heard my little girl's heart beating. The doctor said "That's a good sign." My husband tightly held my hand. She examined me and very coldly said " You are fully dilated, we won't be able to save the baby."

What do you mean you can't save the baby? What happened? She was fine a week ago!! We cried and cried. They took me to the hospital in an ambulance. I cried the whole way.

My parents and Gene's dad met us at the hospital. Gene's mom and sister hurried down from Atlanta. I was in labor for 7 hours, 7 long hours. Finally, I delivered her and all I remember saying was, " Were they right? Is it a girl?" Then I was out.

When I woke up they brought in my little girl. She was so tiny. She weighed 11 and 1/4 ounces and she was 10 inches long. She was tall for her gestation they said. She was so perfect. She had my lips and my husbands chin. She had the biggest feet. We held her, our family held her. Then, they took her away.

We only had three pictures. Three pictures... No smiles, No cries. I never felt her grasp my fingers. I don't know what color her eyes would be or her hair. But I had to let her go. I guess God needed her with Him. But why? I don't know.

The doctors aren't even sure what happened. They say it was probably an infection in my placenta. But how did that happen? They don't know.

I love my little Kaitlyn Nicole and I miss her so much. Even six months later I cry every day. Will it ever get better? I don't know.

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