Our First Angel

by Angela

Date: Sun, 23 Apr 2000

My husband and I have been trying to have a little one for 5 years and on April 10th we were informed that our prayers had come true. Our test was positive, OH happy day. Everyone in the doctors office came by to give us our congratulations and it's about times. The nurse was about as happy as I was. Even though I was only 6 weeks along, you would have thought I was giving birth. I thought I could finally feel like a whole woman and quit wishing that I wasn't the only one around here that wasn't pregnant. On 4/11/00, I started to bleed, of course I panicked and contacted my doctor in which he brought me in right away. He did all the routine test and an ultrasound which showed me the little sack in which my baby was growing (I was smiling at this point because the baby was still there). On Wed. 4/12/00 the doctor told me to get bed rest that my bleeding was coming from cervix vessels which was not serious. On Easter Sunday at 12:15 pm I was losing our baby. It went painless (physically) and there was no need to call the doctor right away because I knew it was all gone. I do have a doctors appt. on 4/24/00 to see how the baby was doing. I know he is doing well because he is in heaven now but I can't say as much for myself. I am totally drained, lost and empty. There is no reason to sit on the front porch in the rocking chair now and there is no reason to sing. Life brings a lot of changes but after trying for five years, this kind of change is no good. I'm in tears writing this to you but I hope that my message can touch someone else's heart and let them know that there are a lot of people out there that suffer the same loss. My husband, best friend and lover has been my rock and with God's help, we will be able to receive another gift and be able to give it a real name to claim other than "OUR ANGEL"