Losing Alex

by Silvia and Nick Zahorcak
proud parents of Alexander Luciano Zahorcak--stillborn at full term
to a cord accident 3-1-95,
also parents of Emily Hope Zahorcak, miscarried at 8 weeks 10-12-95
Alex's little brother Nicholas was born on Nov 25, 1996. We are very happy!!!

When I got pregnant with Alex, after wanting a baby for 7 years,
it seemed more like a miracle to me than a natural process.
for the entire pregnancy I was so happy, nobody could possibly take
that smile away from my face. my husband told me that I never
looked happier.

I was certainly not ready for the terrible turn of events that were
about to take place at the time when I should have been so happy.
it was the baby's due date and I was worried. I hadn't felt the
baby move for a little while, and I was nervous. the following
morning I was at the dr. office to check for the heartbeat, and, much
to my disbelief, shock and strong denial, there wasn't one to be
heard, or later seen on the ultrasound. I consider that the absolute
worse day of my life, all I did is cry all day. They induced me the
following morning, and after 18.5 hrs of labor my beautiful Alex was
born,: an absolute delight to my eyes, and a stake thru my heart.
I don't believe there is nothing in this world that hurts as much as
losing all your hopes, dreams and a beautiful little baby that looks
just like you. The pain has followed me in strange patterns, and it
can get as vivid and as strong as it used to be. No matter what
happens, he will always be our first baby, our angel waiting for us
in heaven to have and to hold.

We love you honey!

Mommy and Daddy