Lauren Renee

by Danielle Alderson

Date: Thu, 14 Oct 1999 11:15:49 -0500

It has been 16 months since Lauren Renee was born still on July 22, 1998.

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant, I was scared. At the time, my daughter was seven years old and it was like I was starting all over again. On the other hand, my husband was elated. He didn't really show it because he wanted to give me moral support but I know my husband very well. In time, I too was elated.

I had an ultrasound at 19 weeks gestational, everything was going fine.

It was on a Sunday, July 21, 1998 that I was having pain in my groin area. I didn't think much about it but after about an hour I noticed that they were starting to feel more like contractions, that's when I began to worry. I called my ob/gyn and she told me to lie down for a while and if it kept up to call her.

Before I went to lie down, I went to use the washroom and then all of sudden a gush of water came out. I started to scream. I called my husband and he came home from work and took me to the hospital.

My doctor met me at the hospital and checked me and informed me that I didn't have any fluid left. At that time I was 22 weeks gestational, and if the baby was born she would not be able to live. She sent me to another hospital where they have a neo-natal unit because we were going to try to hold the baby in me for another 2 weeks because they said she had a better chance of survival after 24 weeks..

On Monday, June 22, 1998 at 9:30pm they had noticed that I had a very high temperature so they informed me that they would have to induce labor because if they didn't both of us would die because infection was starting to set in.

Lauren was born still on June 22, at 11:59pm weighing 1 lb. 1 oz and 11 inches long. I remember the nurse yelling, "SHE DOESN'T HAVE A HEARTBEAT". I was able to hold her and I am so glad that I did because at first I didn't want to hold her.

That was the saddest day of my life. I left the hospital empty handed and 3 days after that, the milk began to flow. I thought I would just die with her because I was going to breast-feed and that milk was suppose to be for her.

The doctor told us not to start trying until we had 3 regular cycles. We got pregnant four months after Lauren died.

I went back to my regular ob/gyn because she is also a high-risk doctor. She told me that I was not going to loss this one. She decided that when I turned 20 weeks, she would check my cervix every week and that is what she did.

At my 22nd week check-up she noticed that I started to dilate and she sent me to the hospital for an emergency cerclage. Because of her love for people Taylor Denise was born on July 17, 1999.

She cannot replace Lauren because Lauren is her own individual and I really do miss her. If Lauren had made it to her due date, she would be turning 1 this month. When I see toddlers her age I always think about her.

I am writing this a year and so later because I looked at Taylor yesterday and am so grateful that she made it but I really miss Lauren so much.

I found a very special friend, on this website, that helped me to get through Taylor's pregnancy in good spirits.